The Lazy Freddie
by CoffeeSam
Summary: 23 year old Freddie Benson has a routine... Every single day, it's the same thing. Sleep, eat, have sex, and sleep. Then start all over again. Song-fic. The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars


**A/N: Hello! Today I was listening to The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars, and I thought it would be funny if Freddie was acting the song... I'm tired, okay? **

**Disclaimer: My name ain't Bruno Mars. my name ain't Dan Schneider either... SO GUESS WHAT! I don't own any of this ;)**

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><p><em>Today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone! 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything…<em>

23 year old Freddie Benson was lying on his bed. He looked at his digital clock only to see that it was 5 o'clock A.M. He groaned, and then flipped over. His left arm landed on his wife's stomach

"Fredward, I swear I'm going to kill you!" Sam (Puckett) Benson exclaimed. He got his arm off of her stomach and rolled over. Right then, his cell phone started to ring like crazy. He took it, only to see Carly Shay on his screen. He threw his cell phone on the bean bag they had in their room and got back to sleep.

_I'm gonna kick my feet up and stare at the fan, turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants! Nobody's gonna tell me I can't… I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie, click to MTV so they can teach me how to douggie! 'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man!_

Freddie woke up, this time at 7 o'clock. He got up and smelled bacon and eggs. Sam was cooking. He walked to the couch and dropped on it. He took his blue Snuggie and turned the TV on to MTV.

"FREDDIE! I'M GOING TO EAT YOUR BREAKFAST IF YOU DON'T TAKE YOUR ASS AND COME TO SIT HERE!" Sam yelled. Freddie chuckled and went to the kitchen, then sat next to Sam.

"You happy?" Freddie asked her. She just rolled her eyes and continued to eat her breakfast. He started to eat, and he got a text. He checked his phone.

_**I'M THE FREAKING MAN!**_

_**-Gibby**_

Freddie chuckled at the sight of the text. He shut his phone and continued to eat his breakfast.

_Yes I said it, I said it! I said it 'cause I can! Today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone! 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything…Nothing at all! Nothing at all!_

After breakfast, he resumed his activity. He got up and lay on the couch. He watched a movie, just to get pass the time since Sam went to work.

_Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some p90x! Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex! And she's gonna scream out this is great! "Oh my god, this is great!" Yeah! I might mess arround and get my college degree. I bet my old man will be so proud of me; I'm sorry pops you'll just have to wait!_

Freddie started to think about tomorrow. _Tomorrow was Saturday, and that meant Sam didn't have work, and she'll have time for a SPECIAL activity… Yeah! She'll love it! _He thought. He then took his laptop and searched a fake diploma from college_. My mom would be proud… But she knows I didn't go… Oh well!_ He clicked PRINT anyways.

_Yes I said it, I said it! I said it 'cause I can! Today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone! 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything…Nothing at all! Nothing at all!_

Freddie was pretty tired of doing nothing. He turned his laptop off and the TV off and then got up and made himself a snack. He ate it and then plopped on his bed, burping. He heard Sam opening the door and slamming it shut.

"FREDDIE! I'M IN THE MOOD FOR YOU KNOW WHAT RIGHT NOW!" She yelled. Freddie smirked and Sam came to the room. "I don't want to wait 'till tomorrow!" She then jumped on the bed next to Freddie.

_No, I ain't gonna comb my hair 'cause I ain't going anywhere! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! I'll just strut in my birthday suit, and let everything hang loose! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Today I don't feel like doing anything. I just wanna lay in my bed. Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone! 'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything…Nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!_

Freddie woke up and groaned. He looked again at his digital clock, and he saw it was 5 o'clock in the morning. _And it'll start again… That's a routine, now. Being lazy. _He thought and closed his eyes


End file.
